The fiction story

The Diary of the Espresso Woman. Part 34.

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The Espresso Woman. Drawing by LH.

Oh my God… I am so fed up with the office kindergarten! The “who’s who” on the social ladder and who plays with whom. Who loves whom….

Tired of it!

When I was a kid I couldn’t wait to grow up. I didn’t like the childishness of the childhood anyway. Yep, that’s right. I wanted to be a proper grown-up. To be serious, to give my life a meaning, to start talking about things as they are.

So where are all those things? What they don’t tell you when you are a kid is that it all stays the same. It never changes! Life always takes place on the playground. Even the rules basically stay the same (Be a leader yourself or if not capable of that, stay with the strong ones. Some suggest that you should just “be yourself”…. Oh, please! Just cut the crap! Who is the “real you” anyway?).

Life always requires a strategy. And that’s basically the only thing that changes – on the grown ups’ playground it’s not called “playing games” any more. It’s called “being strategic”. It’s as far away from being yourself as can be. It’s about fitting in, blending in with the popular group, even starting smoking just for the sake of mixing in with the “it” people at work.

Well, I haven’t started smoking (yet?) but I did start drinking espressos instead of the big fluffy white ones. Remember my struggles with that?

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You probably don’t want to hear me bitching about adult life and its stupid rules. If you’re the boss on the adult playground you just don’t care. And if you’re the weird kid who plays alone then you actually came here to read something more uplifting. You know that life sucks but you hope that someone will convince you that it doesn’t suck that much….

So bring on the office gossip! Right?

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Mmmmmm… Where were we. Let me make a quick recap.

Devon claimed that he hadn’t sent me the stupid e-mail with a come on. I might as well believe him. It would be proof for me personally that life doesn’t suck that much and people can actually be nice….

He did bring me a cup of espresso to my desk which I guess in his world is as close to making peace as can be. (Bringing me coffee always makes peace in my world, by the way. Just sayin’…)

Isn’t it weird, though…. We are so glad and grateful for a small kind gesture from people who spend most of their time being nasty. And those who are always nice are never allowed a bad day. If they are mean even once everyone will be like: “What’s your problem?”

So, it doesn’t really pay off to be nice all the time, does it? Be a bitch and when you throw in one nice deed every once in a while (not more often than bi-annually, I guess?) you’re golden. People will appreciate you and they can never say that you are all bad. Because you gave that homeless dog a smile six months back. Remember?

Did I or did I not get carried away again? Don’t even start with me….

So, I’m OK with Devon for a while.

The rest of the 3D (my three project managers with D-names) are doing fine, too. Boring even.

Darja is still doing nothing. Every day seems to be the end of the world to her. And her diamond shoes never really fit…. I still hope that she will enlighten up towards Christmas. Maybe I should leave some candy in her stockings so she would see that miracles do happen?

Diane is back from vacation. She had had a wonderful fling with an amazing man there. That always cheers you up, no doubt in that. The man had claimed to be single but had turned out engaged and soon to be married on the last day of the trip. Diane had seen it coming, though, and wasn’t the least bit unhappy. She had wanted to dump him on the last day of her vacation anyway so she was just sad that she didn’t get a chance to do that.

Again, how we see happiness or unhappiness just depends on our expectations.

So with my sunshine and fairy godmother Diane back I’m pretty much set. I even decided that I will leave the office gossip lingering where it is. I will take a break from that and just concentrate on my career (don’t laugh, I do have a career, although the ladder is all upside down at the moment.)

And…, also…., I am so happy, shiny and bliss because….. I met someone!

Just out of the blue!

OK, not totally out of the blue. This is how it all began…

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I was alone at home (Well, I do live alone so who else would I be with! And just for the record, in case you were wondering, the downstairs guy… Haven’t seen him since he stood in my doorway. I guess he just moved.).

I was at home and wanted to watch a movie. I tend to watch a few favourites all over again, times and times. You all do that too, right?

Lately I’ve been watching “When Harry met Sally”. I just love it. The lines, the humour, the old times New York in all its glory. The days when you would still post letters in a mailbox, women had big fluffy hair and skinny jeans were a thing of the future (and past). And flying on an airplane was still pure bliss. Ahh….

But last Friday I thought: “Why don’t I watch something new?” And when I mean new I mean something old that I haven’t seen yet.

So I picked “You’ve got mail”, which is another Meg Ryan movie. It really is another timeless piece and also features good old New York City. But… it also gives us a peak into the contemporary world. E-mails and online chat-rooms and stuff.

And this is where I got the idea. “I will go online. I will sign up to one of those chat-rooms or whatever they are called these days and I will see if I meet up with someone with whom I can just talk about life and you know…. just something for my soul.”

That’s how I thought and I can’t believe myself that I actually did sign up and did find someone to talk to.

I’m afraid I was kind of hoping for the re-make of the movie. I won’t tell you the plot of the movie, you can watch it yourself. (I mean, you have to watch it.) My dream was to find someone with whom I can have an old-fashioned talk about life and things. Nothing personal (I got that idea from the movie – just chatting, nothing personal.).

So I met this guy and we have been chatting ever since (it’s been about two weeks, but still…).

He seems to have a beautiful mind. I just hope that he has got a cute butt, too. Fingers crossed and I’ll talk to you soon!

To be continued.

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