The fiction story

The Diary of the Espresso Woman. Part 25.

The Espresso Woman. Drawing by LH.

So, I haven’t heard from you for a while. Oh, oops, it was me who had to update you! Sorry….

The thing is, I left you off at the moment when my two guys were standing in my doorway. A tough cookie. Had I really thought that I would get away from the point where I have to say something to either one of them? Well, both of them.

To explain, to solve, to think…. Oh, how complicated! I didn’t want any of this! I just wanted one nice boyfriend.

And instead I have two angry guys standing here, looking at me. One, who we are calling the ex and who was on the verge of proposing me, and the other one, my downstairs neighbor guy with whom I was just about getting somewhere…..

I must be having a really busted look on my face. For a moment I even think about crying. It’s just how exhausted I am from this game. (And these are not even my rules any more. No fun playing this game…. And I really suck at games anyway.)

As I am utterly, totally out of words, one of them starts to speak. It’s the ex.

“How long has this been going on?”

He sounds like a lawyer and not a friendly one. And what a typical question! I wasn’t technically cheating on him. We were on a break (Oh, hello Ross from “Friends“!). Or in my mind we had actually broken up already. I was just waiting for the right moment to tell him. You know, like a sign or something…

And now the downstairs guy has something to say, too: “I think you might have told me that you have a boyfriend.”

His words are  falling from his lips like icecubes. Cold as ice. I get chills from hearing this.

“There’s only one step from love to hatred.” What a correct saying this is!

And I’m still mute. I thought this only happens in the movies but I feel like I really can’t get any words out.

All of a sudden I feel a splurge of selfconfidence in me. I realize that I don’t feel like explaining myself. I just don’t want to. Weird. For me, at least. I must be growing up or something. In fact I’ve been growing fat, but that’s another story. Never mind.

“You know, you two go figure it out. Seems like you have exchanged enough information already. I have other things to do today (do I?).”

They probably did not see this coming. Now my voice is cold as an April shower (which reminds me that a hot shower would feel so good right now…).

The guys look at me like I’m lunatic or something. (Well, it was full moon last night as I will later realize.)

And it doesn’t take them long to take the next step. Unbelievable! So it proves they weren’t worth it after all.

The downstairs guy fleeds downstairs. Like a badger to its borrow (Does it sound mean? Boy, I have changed….).

The ex (who know really is the ex, officially and aware of it) grabs his things and starts stuffing them in the suitcase. He’s gone in five minutes.

I secretly hope that he will leave the ring (I didn’t even get to look at it properly… What a pity!) but no. The ex has gone, the ring has gone.

And I am still standing there. No goodbyes. They must have been really mad at me.

But… I do feel relieved. It’s a weird feeling. Empty feeling. But emptyness will always be filled with something. Mother nature does not tolerate an empty place.

Remember how I told you that I would gain control over my life? That I would grab it and twist it the way I want. Well, it feels like I did that right now.

So far so good. What next?

To be continued next Monday.



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