“Morning has broken… Like the first morning… ”
Well, how should I put it now… Let’s just say that my ex spent the night in my apartment.
I mean, where else should he have gone? He had flown all the way from London, for god’s sake ! Just give me a break!
You say you were not judging me? Oh, alright then….
You shouldn’t judge me, anyway. What would you have done instead of me?! Actually, no, don’t tell me ’cause I don’t care. I did what I could. For once in my life I was thinking about me!
But you probably want to know if I have got any plan at all. I have to do something or something will happen.
I’m trapped between two men. I mean, not literally. At the moment only one of them is here right now. And the other one is probably downstairs in his own home…
And I’m in my bed and I hear my ex doing something in the kitchen. Maybe he’s making me pancakes? I’m not really hungry, though. This situation has taken my appetite…
I’m trying to figure out my master plan.
Or maybe I should first figure out which one of these two guys is the important one for me and go from there… What does my heart tell me?
I cannot hear my heart talking at all! My heart is not telling me anything! I’m just horrified by this situation and I cannot hear my heart or maybe my heart has become speechless from the way I have acted…
I’ve always kind of thought that the situation where you have to choose between two men would be more fun. Enjoyable even, maybe.
So how come, it isn’t?
And why is the morning not wiser than the evening? My mind is as blank as can be.
And now the ex is entering the bedroom.
He’s got a plate in his hand with a fried egg and a cup of coffee in the other hand.
I pull the blanket up to my eyes and try to cough….
Pathetic, I know!
“Mmm, I mean, I must have caught a cold. Some kind of virus you brought me from London?”
I smile and try to seem suffering. Right, the ball is in his court now. Seems that I keep on playing it dirty…
And you – no judging! I’m unemployed and penniless and lonely. Have some compassion for me! I’ve got enough problems on my plate already!
Well, maybe there is a real problem on this plate in my ex’s hand? Could he have put the ring in the fried egg?
I’m not mad! I mean, who knows? He was in the middle of the proposal yesterday, he wouldn’t just drop the plan now?
“I’m not hungry. Sorry. It’s so sweet of you. I just feel really sick…”
I’m trying to look as sick as possible.
He only smiles and wants to take the plate and cup back to the kitchen.
“I’ll take the coffee, though!”
How dare he take away the coffee! Or did I sound too enthusiastic for a sick person now?
I’m trying to cough more convincingly. So…
“Warm coffee should do me good, right?”
He hands me my cup with the precious drink in it.
Mmmm, coffee… The meaning of my life! The apple of my eye!
I love this moment every morning. The first coffee of the day. The reason to wake up. The black gold in my cup…
For a moment I almost forget the situation I’m in and the day ahead…
But hey, now that I’m sick I don’t have to leave the apartment, so I won’t have to meet the downstairs guy.
I’ll send my ex out to get me something and at the same time I’ll call the downstairs guy and well, make up a reason why I can’t see him today. And why I didn’t return to his place last night…
And then I’ll take if from there!
Sounds like a plan to me!
At least so I thought. Things hardly ever go the way we (I) expect…
Still, let me enjoy my coffee now. I’m the Espresso Woman after all! You’ll see how things turn out! Or how they don’t… 😉
To be continued next Monday.