The fiction story

The Diary of the Espresso Woman. Part 22.

The Espresso Woman. Drawing by LH.

And right as my (ex-)boyfriend pulls out the ring, there’s the doorbell.

That must be my downstairs guy! Oh, crap!

Saved by the bell or going to hell….?

We stand there, frozen. I stand, he’s still on his one knee, the ring in his hand. He hasn’t said it yet. It’s still in the air. The moment has not happened yet, we can still change the future here, come on!

“Shouldn’t you see who it is?” he finally asks.

“No…” I mumble.

What should I do, what can I do? Thoughts are racing through my mind. Nothing good comes up, though. I only get the basic instinct to run, hide, get away from this unpleasant situation. I wish I was living on the first floor and my apartment had a secret emergency exit. I would just flee, I swear. Better yet, the secret door could lead me to the future. Or past. I’d choose either over the present now….

Maybe I could open the door and run out and leave the two of them here… Good plan, if it were a restaurant or another public place. But it’s my home! I need to come back here!

Maybe I should faint? Never happened to me but I could try faking it… Could I? I guess I’m past that perfect moment of fainting, it wouldn’t seem believable now any more…

“Hey!” the kneeling ex has stood up and is staring at me. “I will open the door.”

“No!!” I grab his arm. “Don’t.” I try to say it really calmly. “It could be him. The stalker. Someone’s been following me lately.”

“What? Then I’ll call the police!”

OK, now he’s all a man and hands on in action. Now he’s ready to protect me and decide for me and all that. Why now? Why do good things always come too late (and for those who do not wait…. any more.)

“No. Let’s hide.”


OK, this came out all wrong. What am I, eight? Hide… Jesus. What’s wrong with me?

I can see in his eyes that he also thinks that there’s something wrong with me.

But I just cannot let the neighbor in! I’m not even sure why, but I just don’t want to face the situation I’m in. Plus…. my ex with the ring in his hand, on one knee…. I know it’s pathetic but it gave me second thoughts.

I mean, no one has ever proposed to me before. And apparently I like men who take the lead. And now he’s done all that and he still looks gorgeous as ever and I even felt a glimpse of those old feelings coming back… Why was I so mad at him, anyway? Do you remember?

Note to my future love interests: taking charge, pulling out the ring – works for me! Does the trick… Not to mention the obvious deal sealers: great body and puppy eyes…  I’m not that much into looks, I swear. I love a smart brain, too. And humor. I do, I do, really…


You’d think that when you don’t answer the door the person will go away. But no, no such luck today. Now he starts banging on the door and calling my name!

“Are you there? Did something happen? Helloooo! Are you OK?”

Maybe he heard us talking and he really thinks that now something is wrong with me. And he wants to protect me! Another man who takes charge, acts out, behaves like a man. At the wrong moment, but still… He is behaving like a man. Works for me…

Still no ideas in my head. The situation is getting out of hand. One of these men will finally open the door one way or the other.

Lightbulb in my head! I grab my ex and kiss him! That should stop him thinking. And I hope that my downstairs guy will finally just go  away and I can figure something out later on! Right?

So I’m kissing my ex. And he seems thrilled…. And the banging on the door does stop finally….

Did I get myself into more trouble now?  What next?

Let me just finish kissing him first.

Feels great, by the way! 😉

To be continued next Monday.




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